10 Ways To Embody Black Cat Energy In Your Marriage & Keep Him Chasing You

There is a lot of advice on dating as a Black Cat Woman, but there is little said on how to maintain this energy in a long term relationship or marriage. As anyone in a long term relationship knows, the dynamics within dating versus a committed relationship are very different. The relationship dynamics may be vastly different, however the energetic dynamics can remain the same through intentionality and effort. These 10 ways to embody Black Cat Energy in your marriage will keep your man chasing you long after the dating phase has ended. More importantly, it will keep you feeling whole within yourself, confident, and empowered.

A woman in her Black Cat Energy knows that the way to have a healthy relationship is for both partners to develop themselves individually so that they can both bring their most authentic and well developed versions of themselves to their relationship. She knows that a man learns how to treat her from the way she treats herself. She knows that as she develops into higher and higher levels of herself so will her relationship develop into higher levels as well. As she unveils deeper layers of herself, as she reaches even higher evolvements, she brings these new found aspects of herself to her relationship. She brings a new version of herself for her partner to discover. She is never stagnant. She is always blossoming. Her partner is reintroduced to a new, and even more beautiful version of her everyday. He is always challenged to keep up with her eternal evolution. There is always a new version of her to uncover, to understand, and to impress.

The chase never has to end ;)

1. Set High Standards & Expect Them To Be Met

Black Cat Women set high standards for themselves and the people in their lives. You are responsible for setting your own value in this world, and you do this through the standards you set. Women who value themselves have high standards. They have high expectations for themselves and their relationships. Having high standards for yourself is empowering, and it gives you the power to expect the people in your life to treat you with high standards as well. We can only expect others to meet as high of a standard as we can meet ourselves. High standards go hand in hand with high self worth. Valuing yourself teaches others to value you. People learn how to treat you through how you treat yourself and the expectations you set. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows her worth and sets high standards for her life. Women with high standards are interesting, attractive, and respectable.

Standards are sexy.

It's never too late in a relationship to raise your standards. If the standards you once had have not been maintained or the bar was never high enough, it's never to late to require more for yourself. The past does not have to limit the future for your relationship. You deserve exactly the treatment you feel like you deserve now. The right partner will always rise up to meet the bar. Have an honest, direct, and compassionate conversation with your partner about what you want from them and from your relationship. Discuss ways that you can level up your relationship together. Finds ways to romanticize your life together even more. High standards can mean different things for different women. For some it may mean expensive vacations and luxurious gifts, for others it may mean spending a lot of quality time together and small thoughtful gestures. The flame never has to go out, with a little effort and communication you can stoke the fire of romance forever. If you don't stoke a fire, it will die out. Communicating the standard of treatment you both desire to receive and maintaining that standard together is the stoking every relationship needs to keep the spark alive.

2. Unwaveringly Uphold Your Boundaries

Healthy boundaries show others that you respect yourself and that you expect others to respect you as well. Boundaries help you to preserve your peace and personal empowerment. Setting boundaries is an act of self care. Having boundaries protects your energy so that you can use it intentionally and put it into things that are truly important to you. Without boundaries you can easily become stressed, burnt out, and disrespected. If you do not set clear and healthy boundaries within your relationship you can easily find yourself feeling taking advantage of, disrespected, and unappreciated. Boundaries reinforce your self worth to yourself and others. Upholding the boundaries you set reinforces the respect you have for yourself and the respect that you expect from others. People will only respect you as much as you respect yourself. Women who set and uphold boundaries within their relationship show their partner that they know they are valuable and worthy of respect and that they expect to be treated as such. Women with boundaries are respectable and interesting. Boundaries show an inner sense of self respect that increases your attractiveness and respectability to others. No one finds a doormat intriguing and alluring.

A Black Cat Woman is strong enough in herself to walk away from any one who does not respect her boundaries. If someone breaks her trust, crosses her boundaries, or disrespects her she will walk away. She knows that the right person will value her, respect her boundaries, and honor her trust. Her independence gives her the strength she needs to walk away from anyone who mistreats her so that she can make space in her life for the right person. She will never let the wrong guy keep her from meeting her one true husband, even if she's married to the wrong guy today.

A Black Cat Woman knows that her power in her relationship lies in her ability to walk away. The realization that either lover could walk away deepens the appreciation of how beautiful and meaningful it is that every morning both partners wake up and choose to stay with each other. This freedom is what makes a marriage a beautiful union instead of a lifelong sentence. When both partners respect this truth they make more of an effort to nurture their relationship and to entice their lover to stay. A marriage is not a one time commitment. A healthy and vivacious marriage is made through making a new commitment everyday to your lover and to your relationship together. It is not the permanence of a marriage that keeps the relationship alive, it is the realization that without care it may not be. You must have non-negotiable boundaries to be respected and appreciated by your partner. You must respect yourself enough to have the courage to walk away to make your staying meaningful.

3. Communicate Your Needs & Feelings Directly

Healthy communication is an indispensable cornerstone for any relationship. Knowing how to communicate your needs and feelings effectively is an absolutely necessary skill for forming and maintaining a healthy relationship.

A Black Cat Woman knows that her needs are important and her feelings are valid. She has the courage to communicate. She doesn't suppress her emotions or bite her tongue when what she has to say is important. She keeps a clear and open line of communication with her partner. She knows how to be composed and compassionate without withholding how she really feels. She has enough grace and composure to navigate emotional conversations with honesty, maturity, and understanding. There is a strength in being vulnerable and she is not afraid to openly share the depths of herself with her lover.

Communicating with and understanding people effectively requires much more than language. To communicate with someone effectively you have to be able to read between then lines. People communicate through more than just their words. They communicate with their silence, movements, micro-expressions, posture, and more. Being knowledgeable about all of the ways that people communicate helps you to be able to understand what someone means not just what they say. Understanding comes from listening and observing, not just hearing. Knowing how to communicate with people effectively is an important skill for being able to share your thoughts and feelings in the most compassionate and clear way possible. This is a vital skill for communicating with your lover and everyone in your life.

Communication keeps the relationship from growing cold. Silence is where bitterness and resentment prosper. Bitterness is never sexy. A Black Cat Woman prioritizes her mental health and the health of her relationships. She prioritizes peace, harmony, and growth. She invests into her relationship by learning about healthy ways to communicate and by having the courage to speak her mind.

4. Sanctify Your Solitude & Nurture Your Black Cat Energy

Solitude is sacred. Only in the private peace of our own solitude can we root deeper into the depths of our being so that we can grow higher. Solitude gives us a space to sit and think, to be with ourselves, undisturbed by the distractions of the outside world. Solitude invites us to explore our inner world, to get to know who we really are more deeply, and to process our emotions. You don't know how you're really feeling until you give yourself space to be alone with yourself. It is difficult to have an intimate discussion with someone when there are other people there to listen in on and interrupt the conversation. In the same way, it is difficult to intimately connect with yourself in the presence of others. Solitude gives us a safe and comfortable space to be vulnerable and real with ourselves and to process our deepest thoughts and feelings. Solitude gives you a space to connect with yourself and to practice the art of being you. Solitude is where you nurture your Black Cat Energy.

Black Cat Women thrive in solitude. They are comfortable being alone and know that they need time on their own to recharge and reconnect with themselves. Black Cat Women value their independence. They honor their solitude as a sacred time to enjoy their own company and invest in their most important relationship, their relationship with themselves. There is a power that comes from being at peace in the silence of your solitude.

Spending time on your own gives your husband a chance to miss you, to wonder about you, to recognize and appreciate that you are an independent woman with your own life and to be thankful for his place in it. Prioritizing your solitude and independences gives him an opportunity to chase you. When you value your solitude and selectively choose when and with who you spend your time with it makes your presence that much more valuable. It makes you exclusive. People value your company as much as you value your company.

5. Focus On Your Personal Development & Mental Health

A Black Cat Woman is always working on herself. She is always challenging herself and growing as a person. She challenges herself to go beyond her limits and grow into higher and higher evolvements of herself. She knows when to offer herself rest and care. She has a healthy balance of action and ease.

A Black Cat Woman tends to her inner world. She nurtures a peaceful and loving mental landscape. She offers herself gentleness, love, and care. She has compassion for her imperfections and appreciation for her strengths. She invests in her mental health through introspection, spiritual practices, and nurturing relationships. She has a strong moral compass and fills her life and mind with goodness. She makes an effort to become a more loving person to herself and others.

Just like a black cat is comfortable in the shadows, a Black Cat Woman is comfortable facing the shadows within herself. She isn't afraid to face all aspects of herself even the darkness within her. Shadow work is the practice of exploring and integrating the aspects of ourselves that we repress or hide. Facing these shadows can help us to heal, grow, and become more self aware. Only when we face our shadows can we accept ourselves completely and begin to heal the aspects of ourselves that we wish to change. Facing our traumas, hidden fears, and flaws can make us more aware of our behaviors and where we may be acting from an unhealthy place. This introspection and self development can help us to become more aware of any negative thought patterns or behaviors that we may be bringing into our relationship so that we can make positive changes. Facing these shadows gives us an opportunity to heal these aspects of ourselves and to offer ourselves the care we need to heal and integrate these hurt pieces of our psyche. Making the brave journey into our inner shadows will benefit not only our mental health but the health of our relationship as well.

Anyone would be happy to be with a partner who is constantly growing as a person and is willing to work on themselves. The more you work on yourself you are inadvertently working on the health of your marriage as well.

6. Educate Yourself On Psychology & Relationship Dynamics

Intelligence is one of the core principles of Black Cat Energy. The most important form of intelligence for a Black Cat Woman is psychological intelligence. Psychological literacy means being able to apply psychological knowledge to your day to day interactions so that you can most effectively accomplish your personal, professional, and social goals. Being psychologically intelligent is vital for building healthy relationships, working with others, and achieving any social goal. Being emotionally and socially intelligent is essential for thriving in life. Humans are social creatures and even the most independent people are forced to function with and live amongst others. The more you understand the human mind and behaviors the easier your life will be.

Psychological intelligence is what gives the Black Cat Woman one of her most powerful skills, discernment. Having psychological knowledge is what empowers our ability to judge people correctly and to make decisions about who is worthy of having a place in our life. Psychological literacy grants you with a greater ability to read other people. This skill is absolutely necessary for making wise choices in all areas of life, but especially in relationships. When you are a good judge of character and have developed your discernment you can trust yourself more easily. When you can trust yourself it is easier to feel comfortable trusting others. Feeling confident in your psychological literacy will give you a feeling of comfort, knowing that you are empowered by knowledge and have developed your discernment.

Understanding relationship dynamics is an essential skill for anyone in a relationship. Educating yourself on Feminine and Masculine energy and the roles they play in relationships can bring a whole new light in which to view the dynamics of your relationship. Finding a harmonious relationship between the Masculine and Feminine energies within a relationship is the key to creating harmony between the Masculine and Feminine partners. It is important to learn about the ways your partner may be different from you and how to find understanding and balance between those differences.

Relationships do not sustain themselves. They require nurturing to survive and thrive. Being a good wife is a skill. All skills require sharpening. The Black Cat Wife uses her intelligence to learn about ways to develop her relationship skills. Relationships require a substantial amount of effort from both sides. Professionals have dedicated their lives to creating tools and compiling knowledge to help couples thrive. Reading books, listening to podcasts and YouTube videos, or speaking with a relationship coach can do wonders for expanding your relationship skills and improving the health of your marriage. All good things require effort. To have a beautiful marriage, you must make a beautiful effort.

7. Ritualize Self Care & Practice The Art Of Beautifying Your Physical Appearance

The way we feel about ourselves on the inside is reflected in the way we take care of ourselves on the outside. Physical appearance truly is a form of self expression. Glamour is the craft of making art out of ourselves.

Too many woman devalue themselves and their appearance. Once they get married they self proclaim to "let themselves go" because they feel as though they've already locked down their husband and that they don't have to perform anymore. This shows a lack of respect for their husband's opinion of them and a selfish lack of desire to please their partner. More importantly, it shows a lack of respect for themselves. Beauty should not be a performance. Vanity is a performance. Beauty and glamour transcend vanity. Beauty should come from a genuine and authentic desire to make art of yourself and to express the beauty within outwardly. Beauty should be an effort to reflect what is inside out into the external world, not to construct some artificial mimicry of whatever is deemed desirable to mainstream society. Beauty is not a superficial tool for tricking men into committing to you. Beauty should be artful. A beauty routine should be a sacred and transformational ritual in which some beautiful inner aspect of yourself is expressed on the body. A beauty routine is a time to honor yourself and the beauty of your mind, soul, and body.

Self care isn't just about face masks and luxurious baths, it's about taking time to luxuriate in yourself. It's about taking time to take care of yourself. It's about dedicating time out of your busy schedule to just enjoying being you. Self care is a sacred time where we can honor the divine nature of our existence and appreciate simply being alive in our bodies. Self care is about showing gratitude to our body for sustaining us. Our body is a miracle that deserves to be treated with reverence. Taking time to care for our bodies, to slow down and appreciate our bodies is sacred.

Investing in your physical appearance is an investment into your social well being. Appearances matter. People do judge others based on their appearance. It is a fact of humanity. Often, the first tool we have to make judgements of new people is their appearance. People carry symbols of their personalities and interests in their appearance. People can often tell a lot about each other based on how they dress and present themselves to the world. When you take care of yourself and your appearance you show the world that you think you are valuable and respect yourself. If you see yourself as beautiful and present yourself as beautiful, the world will see your beauty. When you reflect beauty into the world that beauty is reflected back to you in the eyes of others.

A Black Cat Woman is a muse to herself. She creates art and beauty out of her life and out of herself. She respects herself and invests in herself internally and externally. She admires herself and this inspires the admiration of others. This allure inspires attraction for a lifetime.

8. Cultivate Your Independent Skills & Interests

Independence is the most famous principal of Black Cat Energy. When you are single independence is a part of your daily life. When you are married time must be carefully set aside to preserve each individual's independence. It is easy to let our own skills and interests slip away in the all consuming rapture of love. It is one of life's greatest blessings to be with someone that you want to spend every moment of your life with. The intense feeling of love, connection, and comfort that comes from being with your lover may be the greatest pleasure in life. However, it is important that both people preserve their individuality and spend time apart to work on themselves and to nurture their independent skills and interests.

Our individuality is what gives our partner something and someone to love. Our independence is what makes us a fully developed individual. Often, people say that they find their partner the most attractive when they are in their element, immersed in something they are passionate about. People love to see their partner shine and to see their talents. The only way to develop our talents and immerse ourselves in our passions is to make time for our independent skills and interests.

A Black Cat Woman prioritizes the things that make her "her". She sets time aside to learn about her interests and to develop her talents and skills. This investment into her interests makes her more interesting. This discipline and devotion to her passions and talents make her more intriguing and alluring.

Independence creates a more developed sense of self and adds depth and individuality to a person. Independence creates space for uniqueness. It is this uniqueness that attracts our partner to us. Your husband should love you for who you are as a one of a kind being. The more you develop the aspects of yourself that make you "you" the more there is of you to love.

9. Indulge In Self Seduction & Embrace Your Sensuality

The most important subject of your seduction is yourself. You are worthy of your own seduction, your own admiring eye, your own caressing touch. You are worthy of luxuriating in yourself. What will it grant you to seduce another if you can not enjoy the pleasures of your own seduction? What is the benefit of giving your seduction away and never enjoying it for yourself? You deserve the privilege of your own seduction. You deserve the pleasure of your own sensuality.

Seduction should be first and foremost for yourself. Seduction and sensuality are an expression of femininity. Self seduction should be a sacred ritual to honor your own femininity and to connect with your sensuality. A master in the art of seduction knows that the true power of seduction does not come from an outward performance. Performative seduction is superficial and unrefined. Seduction can not be performed. Seduction is an art of being. A seductress sedulously practices and has mastered the art of womanhood. A woman who has mastered the art of seduction effortlessly exudes seduction from the core of her very being without having to do anything. The art of seduction is mastered not by doing, but by existing in an eternal state of internal seduction. Only when you have become enchanted by your own seduction can you entice others to come under your spell.

There is a power in taking your pleasure in your own hands, literally ;). The Black Cat Woman maintains her independence in all aspects of her life. She does not put her pleasure in the hands of others. She has developed a sacred self pleasure practice. She knows that she must explore the vast bliss of her own pleasure and ecstasy before she can fully take someone else there with her. She knows that it is important to explore her own body and desires. You must travel the journey to your own pleasure before you can guide someone else there. You must explore the territory before you can create a map. A self pleasure practice gives you a space to master the art of your own pleasure. Just as an artist must practice their craft, a master in the art of pleasure must practice as well. Self pleasure is an opportunity to explore, discover, and master new techniques so that you can continuously grow in the art of pleasure and become a better and better lover.

When you have mastered the art of self seduction, you are no longer dependent on others for pleasure or validation. The art of self seduction is self liberation. A woman who is enchanted by her own seduction and fully surrendered to the pleasure of her sensuality is powerfully magnetic. This irresistible magnetism is powerful enough to last a lifetime and to keep a man eternally enchanted.

10. Maintain Your Mystery

The Black Cat Woman is a master in the art of mystery. Mystery is not manipulation and it does not mean you have to be emotionally withdrawn or guarded. Mystery comes from depth and decorum.

There are mysteries within us all. The deeper you go within the more interesting you become. The deeper you go within in yourself the deeper you can allow another person in with you. You are an endless ocean of treasures to be discovered. Respecting and honoring this truth about yourself through self exploration will enrich your own life and your relationship. This eternal blossoming into deeper, higher, more beautiful versions of yourself will endlessly enchant your partner. When there is a new version of yourself continuously being revealed there is always an element of newness and excitement to the relationship. There is always something left for your partner to discover about you that will will maintain their desire and intrigue for the long term. There is always a mystery left to be uncovered within you.

There is no mystery without decorum and discretion. Too often I see women completely throw away any element of mystery they once had within their relationship. There are things better left unsaid or unseen. Mystery leaves something to the imagination. The realm of imagination is where seduction thrives. Mystery can shield us from the mundane and sometimes gross experiences of everyday life. Mystery gives us a space to imagine a sexier reality. So, let's leave the door to the bathroom closed, shall we.